Shaun, known as "lovey face," "loves" or "lovey," is one of the best things that's ever happened to me. I don't really know what our relationship is. I do know that I care about him more than he thinks and he's one of the very few people who care for me in return. He's older... By a few years... But that hasn't stopped us yet.
I've grown so attached to him, it's unreal. He's the guy I text when I wake up and say goodnight to when I'm curled up in bed. When something exciting happens, I tell him. When something makes me mad, I tell him. He has this crazy ability to detect if something's bothering me. It amazes me. I never knew someone could know me that well.
When I have questions, and usually always do, he answers every single one. I love being able to lean on someone. Knowing that he will always be there to help and to know what to do is reassuring. He discusses everything and never lets something go. He always leaves me with the best opinions or the longest lectures. ;)
We laugh about the stupidest things. Literally though, the stupidest things. Don't believe me? We had a laugh attack in the middle of horrifically painful sex, the word "face" makes us pee our pants laughing and caps lock seems to be the funniest invention to us. I have this obsession with him putting his weight on me, and when he does, we can't stop laughing. It's awesome and I just had to include it.
One of my favorite qualities about him is that he's so completely paranoid. He's just this cute little nervous wreck and I love watching. It's rather entertaining. When freaking out, he can barely finish a sentence, it always ends with "...oh my god." Funny how you can make me smile with just that. Some people would see this as one of your flaws, but I honestly adore it.
Before Shaun, I was a complete disaster. Now, I'm just a disaster. I've improved. I used to get sad without knowing the cause. I'd cut myself to feel. Come to think of it, I haven't done either in a very long time. A couple months ago, I had absolutely zero confidence and since then I've gained a tiny bit. I'm not afraid to be touched or kissed. I'm better at looking people in the eye. I've told someone I don't want to be touched by them. I'm truly proud of myself and how I've changed. I know that there are still things that need to be fixed and repaired, but there's always a solution. That's what I've learned from him.
If you do ever get to see this, I want to apologize for driving you absolutely crazy or worrying you. I loves you SO much (even though you know that) and wherever our paths may lead, just know that I appreciate everything and won't forget it or how incredibly patient you were with me.
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